One of the tasks in a chapter of The Artist’s Way is to pick a color and write a few sentences describing yourself in the first person. This one is easy for me because I have been asked before what color would represent my personality. I chose yellow. So, when I wrote out the exercise it went a little like this:
I am yellow. I am sunshine – warmth and energy. I am bright, exciting, and loud. I am nourishing.
I haven’t felt all that energetic lately, though. I know it’s in there waiting to have its time again, but it can’t seem to find its way past all this strange lethargy. Instead of yellow, it’s more like gray.
I am gray – the rolling clouds’ precursor to rain. Calm, sedate, muted. I am here without being present.
It’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel depressed, just…indifferent. More like I’m ambling along waiting for something that I haven’t figured out yet. It could just be that I’m tired. I feel like I say that a lot lately, and I would be concerned except that it’s not the kind of tired that affects my day-to-day life (at least not insomuch as that I’m unable to go to work, get out of bed, do chores, etc.). And anyway, it’s okay to not be yellow all the time. Sometimes you just need and/or want to be gray. Or blue, or green, or red.
This idea that I’m waiting for something is an intriguing thought. What could I be waiting for? Answers to that are many – the upcoming move, inspiration, time off work, Kumori Con weekend, time with friends, rainy weather. I’m waiting for all of those things, but the one that strikes a chord with me this morning is inspiration.
I can hear this voice in my head that sounds like one of those old timey mob bosses. I can see him in my head, his fedora tilted a little, cigar moving to the side of his mouth so he can talk just enough to be understood. “So, ya wanna be inspired, do ya?”
What can I do to add a little inspiration to my day? I figure, since I’m feeling gray I’ll wear some gray, but I think it should be splashed up with some color. Just one little piece. Something that pops. And maybe a different hair style, too. And lastly, as I go through my day I think I’ll take off these fog glasses I seem to have on and pay closer attention to things around me – the colors of the trees, the flowers, the grass; people outside, their clothes and hair. There! Already I’m feeling a little more inspired.
What color are you feeling today? Are you satisfied with this color, or do you want to change it? What can you do today to feel more inspired?